Detox: Lindsay Says She's Clean And Sober

Lindsay went on the "Today" show to tell Matt Lauer that she's ready to get her act together and that she "won't let anyone down." Even though firecrotch denied having substance abuse problems the last time she was on the NBC show, she claims she's sick of the Hollywood party scene. She says, "I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.” That's not true. She didn't just become a homebody. She was under house arrest. Either way, I'm still hoping that she proves everyone wrong. I've been waiting for her to make her comeback for the longest time. Hopefully she knows that in order to make a comeback, she has to actually come back. 

Source: Gossip Cop

Photo: Yuku

Drinking For Two: Snooki Is About Three Months Pregnant

According to multiple media outlets, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is three months pregnant with Jionni Lavalle's kid. I hope that baby likes Margaritas. Snooki said that she didn't want to announce her pregnancy until she was three months pregnant because she didn't want to jinx anything. Why the hell would she wait three months? It's called a pregnancy test. Either way, Mtv is allegedly going through a crisis because Snooki and her costar JWoww were supposed to have a spinoff show. Jwoww told Us Weekly that the spinoff was supposed to show a different side of the two party girls. She says, "We want it to be different than Jersey Shore, so it's not always going to be at the club, drinking and partying. You guys know we can drink, you know we can party." And Snooki said about the reality show, "You've only seen the party side of us. You haven't seen this side of us, which is sober and normal." Uum.. Yes, I have. All they do is go tanning. But I don't see why MTV is throwing such a hissyfitt about Snooki getting pregnant. They can just make another show called Sunburned and Pregnant.

Source: The Province
Photo: The Washington Post

Head Shot: Sienfeld Actor Fails At Suicide Attempt

Daniel Von Bargen, some guy who's been on Sienfeld, Malcolm In the Middle, and Always Sunny In Philadelphia was hospitalized on Wednesday after he tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the temple. I don't know how someone could mess this up, but he couldn't open his left eye after shooting himself so I'm guessing he shot it at a bad angle. After shooting himself, Von Bargen called 911 and said, "I shot myself in the head and I need help." I'm sure the 911 operator was like, "No shit..." Apparently he's also diabetic and was scheduled for a hospital visit on Monday where he could have potentially had a few toes amputated. He said, "I was supposed to go to the hospital today and I didn't want to." I'd hate to break it to him, but shooting himself in the head isn't going to keep him from going to the hospital either. I find that there's worse things in life than getting your toes amputated. If he really didn't want to go to the hospital to get his toes cut off then he should have them off instead of his left eye.

Source: GMA Network

Photo: Peliculas Afondo

On A Serious Note: The Difference Between Being Young And Old

I was talking to a friend the other day and I was telling him how I wanted to die young. He was a little shocked and concerned for me because when I said this he assumed that I meant I didn't want to live past my 40s. That's not what I meant at all. I definitely want to live as many years as I can. I don't want to die tomorrow, but I don't want to live forever if I can't do everything that I'm doing now. To me being old is a lifestyle. You buy a house, you don't stay up past 8pm, and you stop driving at night. I don't want to have that kind of a lifestyle. I want to be young forever. It's not about partying, and being able to tolerate a hangover. It's about being active, independent, and seeking discovery. So when I say I want to die young, that doesn't mean I want to die in my twenties. I want to die at an age where I can read my own words, drive my own car at night, and wipe my own ass. 

Dear Diarrhea: The Time I Saw Trey Songz

So if you didn't know before, I work at a movie theater and I can pretty much get away with a lot of things. I come drunk, high, or if my coworkers are lucky, both. The only reason I can get away with all of the stuff that I do is because it's pretty much the theater that no one knows about. We only have 9 theaters and we usually get all the movies that senior citizens want to watch. However, this past Monday, Trey Songz came into our theater to watch Safe House at 10:10. My 15-minute break was supposed to be at 9:30 and I thought there might be a slight chance of meeting him while I wasn't working. However, my 15 minutes were up and I had to return to selling tickets at the box office. My boss let me know early on that he wouldn't have to buy a ticket and that he would walk straight in. Sure enough while I was at the box office he walks straight buy into a hallway. I tried to get a picture, but it didn't work out since he wasn't even facing my direction.

Soonafter Mr. Songz walks into the movie theater my manager asked me if I could help the publicist take his food to him inside the theater. Obviously I said yes, but my manager didn't understand me because I basically lost my mind a little bit. I followed Mr. Songz's publicist inside the movie theater with a box of nachos on top of two pizza boxes on top of a tray. I was so nervous that I swore I was going to drop the box of nachos all over Trey's lap and would attempt to wipe it off as an excuse to touch his crotch. Luckily, that didn't happen. I was walking up the stairs and there he was. I looked at him straight in the eye and attempted to hand him his food. Unfortunately, his publicist rained on my gay parade when she told me to give it to the bodyguard. I was pissed. However, Mr. Songz did give me eye contact for a split second and in that split second I felt fireworks. Something magical happened both in my body. Mostly below the belt. I can die happy now. 

WTF Shorts: Drunk Man Intrudes Home And Plays Piano

A man in Canada is under arrest for intruding someone's home, playing the piano, and using a skateboard just outside the house. One of the residents was upstairs at the time and she suddenly heard the piano playing. She went downstairs to see the inebriated intruder playing the instrument and when he saw her he began making racial epithets at her. Police soonafter arrived and arrested him on the spot. I think the only person to blame here is Canada. Now you know why we lock our doors.

A couple in North Carolina who met at a Wal-Mart decided it was a good idea to have their wedding at the store in the layaway section. I guess it makes sense to have the altar there since that was probably also on layaway. The groom says they met when the bride was a cashier at the same Wal-Mart and he repeatedly went to the store to see her. I don't know about you guys but I'm starting to have a little trouble knowing where romantic ends and creepy begins. Where did they have their honeymoon? The parking lot?

A man in Florida was taken to a hospital after he ingested a liquid that he claimed to be poison. He drank the alleged poison because the jury found him guilty for bringing a gun into a courthouse and attempting to kill himself. He tried to kill himself with the gun because he wasn't happy with a previous child support case. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he attempted to kill himself because he didn't want custody of his kids. Florida needs to step up their game. Why is a man going into a courthouse with something lethal for the second time? Obviously security isn't doing their job. If he really wanted to kill himself, I think he should attend his next court date with something that will actually kill him. Like a bath.

As an alcoholic, I have not obtained my driver's license because I care about my community. Granted, there are times when I wish I could have a car because the drive thru at Taco Bell actually requires you to have one. Trust me, I've tried. Either way, I still like to stay updated on the latest laws and I ran into an article that listed the six strangest driving laws in California. Number 1 said no woman is allowed to drive while wearing a bathrobe. So Britney Spears can't drive with a bathrobe, but she can still flash her vagina if she's in her car. Number 5 says no one is allowed to pour salt on the road in Hermosa Beach, CA. I don't know if legislators know this, but sand is actually sea salt. I'll allow everyone to think about that for a minute. Number 6 says any car without a driver is not allowed to go over 60 mph. That would explain why Charlie Sheen never got arrested for driving his cars off the road. Allegedly... However, a couple of them actually made sense to me, like number 2, which says no one is allowed to plant crops on a road in Chico, California. I've never been to Chico but the last thing I want is Google Maps to tell me to turn left and drive into the middle of a god damn corn field. Number 3, which says no one is allowed to dry their car with used underwear, also made sense because that's just gross. I don't know why anyone would do that unless they were prejudice against towels or in a hurry to join a wet panties contest.

Source: Cosmo BC
Photo: Patpoh

Big Words, Little People: Rosie O'Donnell In Trouble For Having A Fear Of Little People

On her very own talk show called The Rosie Show (clever title, by the way), Rosie O'Donnell admitted to having a fear of little people while interviewing her guest, Chelsea Handler. Handler also has her own talk show called Chelsea Lately and is actually the opposite of O'Donnell in that she has an obsession with little people. One would easily find that out by watching her show who starrs her dwarf assistant, Chuy Bravo. On her show, O'Donnell confesses, "I'm a little ashamed about it [but] I have a mild fear or anxiety around little people. The problem with me is I can't put the two things together. This is an adult person, a little person...it's so hard for me." Apparently that confession didn't go very well with an organization called The Little People of America. Now isn't that just the cutest thing you ever saw? The spokesman for LPA, Leah Smith, felt that O'Donnells statement was insulting and supplementary to "fear-based attitudes." As for Chelsea Handler, Smith regarded her statements as less problematic since she was comparing little people to children. After being asked if she has ever had sex with a dwarf, Handler answered, "No... That would be child abuse -- I would never do that!" Before I put my two sense in, I suggest you guys watch the video that I posted above and then come back to this exact spot. After watching the video, it sounds like Rosie O'Donnell meant no harm. If she did, that's because she's a comedian. She's not meant to be taken seriously. It's not like she said, "I gave a midget a dollar the other day. He looked a little short." Or, "A midget told me he wasn't happy so I asked him, "Then which of the seven dwarves are you?" These little people really need to grow up....

Source: Huffington Post

Video: Huffington Post

Seal Later: Seal Seen Without Wedding Ring After Saying He'll Never Take It Off

I was reading up on some TMZ and found out that Heidi Klum and Seal had a divorce. When the eff did they get married? Anywho, Seal went on Ellen saying he didn't want to remove his wedding ring because "It's a token of how I feel about this woman" and "It feels really comfortable on my hand." Ugh... Why would you wear a ring that only reminds you of the woman who divorced you? And then he adds that it's comfortable? Double ugh... I wake up every morning not wanting to take off my pajamas because they're comfortable, but do you see me keeping them on forever? Sometimes... Either way, TMZ also caught Seal not only with his wedding ring off, but with neon yellow finger nails, too. Now his fingers look like bumble bees. As for Ms. Klum, she divorced Seal because of his temper and was seen without him last Sunday at the Golden Globes. TMZ also said the last time they filmed Seal and Klum together, they asked Klum what the key is to a successful marriage and she didn't answer the question. I don't speak Heidi Klum, but I'm sure her answer was something like, "I'll let you know when I have one."

Source: TMZ

Photo: TMZ

Clooney Tunes: George Clooney Is Sleeepy, Lonely, and Too Drunk

According to The Hollywood Reporter, George Clooney's life may not be all that it's cracked up to be. As Gossip Cop likes to put it, "his life is disturbingly like" mine. The article mentions how he feels lonely, lives in the wrong side of the Hollywood Hills, and watches The Soup and Jersey Shore like everyone else. I have seen The Soup a couple of times, but I've never seen the Jersey Shore in fear that I may catch an STD or skin cancer. Anywho, he admits to THR that he does all the movies that he wants, but at a much lower paycheck than other big names in Hollywood. Maybe if he actually accepted higher paychecks then he could probably afford to live in the right side of the Hollywood Hills. Either way I'm sure he's making more money than I can ever spend anyway. In spite of his success, he still has trouble sleeping. Obviously, he doesn't know what marijuana is. His final problem is drinking. However, I don't know how many times I have to tell people this. Drinking is not the problem. It is the solution. I believe something magical can happen when someone is drunk at 2am and still manages to make it home. Clooney says, "I drink at times too much. I do enjoy drinking, and there have been times in my life when it’s crossed the line from being fun to having to drink late at night for absolutely no reason. So what I do is, I stop.” Apparently, Clooney hasn't had a cocktail since New Years, which is what I read after finding out that he has a drinking problem. Obviously my hopes were shut down. I can't agree with this guy on anything. When he talks about marriage he says, "I don't even think about it, really." Never mind. I can agree with him on one thing.

Source: Gossip Cop

Photo: The Uni Blog

Baby Stories: Find Out Some Random Mini Stories Of The Week

I'm starting a new segment on my news section where I give a few random, smaller stories. Stories that are all over my Twitter news feed, but actually make very little impact on my life or yours, as do most of my stories. Anywho, so apparently Shakira was attacked by a Sea Lion while vacationing in South Africa. She says the sea lion might have confused her shiny blackberry for a fish. The sea mammal growled at her and tried to attack her but luckily her brother, Super Tony, came to the rescue. She later took some pictures with some penguins who she found to be a lot friendlier. I'm guessing she also found out that rocks are hard.... I don't know whether to smile at her or roll my eyes. Let's just hope sea lions aren't higher on the food chain than She-Wolves.

Also a story I hardly care about is how horny Adele is. In an interview, she talked about the pros and cons about being her boyfriend. Some of the cons are that she loves drama and she can change moods in seconds. Some of the pros are that she's funny, a good cook, and always down for sex. That's what I'm talkin' about. I guess if I was funny and a good cook I'd be a good girlfriend, too, instead of a good slut. She also confessed that her celebrity crush is Alec Baldwin. Not that he's ugly, but I was expecting someone else, like Nicole Kidman. I don't consider her particularly beautiful, but I just figured Adele would like her since she smokes so much and Kidman is pale and shaped like a true Virginia Slim.

Tareq Salahi is suing Neal Schon for ruining his marriage with his estranged wife, Michaele Salahi, the house wife of D.C. that crashed the white house. Salahi is suing Schon for $50 million saying, "his penis ruined my marriage." I think Salahi is being dumb. Schon was doing Michaele a favor by throwing her a boner. It sounds like Tareq's penis is the problem because if it was any good, Michaele would have never left. 

Getting Around: My Latest Tip On Staying Healthy

Like many Americans I suffer through something called weight fluctuation. I am very active. I go to the gym, swim, play tennis, volleyball, and for the most part eat some decently healthy meals on a daily basis. However, I am also a heavy drinker and party animal. I usually exercise all week long and by the time Friday comes along I'm down to 172. However, I go to my school gym which isn't open on weekends so all I do is party without exercise all weekend long. If you guys are guessing that my latest tip on staying healthy has anything to do with drugs, you're wrong. It's a good guess, but still wrong. It involves sex and jogging. I've been known to work well under a reward system when I do things good, but I've never found anything rewarding about jogging. Until now. As most of you know, like many other gay men, I use a smart phone app called Grindr where I can chat and meet up with gay men in my area. What I'll do is look for a man on Grindr to meet up with. After we plan a time to meet up, I'll run to his house, do the nasty, and run back. Yes, running back is a little more difficult. Not because I am drained from the sex, but because I am a bottom and I tend to run as if I need to go number two after intercourse. However, it is definitely something that works for me since running to Taco Bell wasn't giving me back the results I wanted. If you guys are also struggling from weight fluctutation then I highly recommend using a similar routine. Your reward doesn't have to be sex, but if it is, please be safe.

Photo: Shiny Shiny

Dear Diary: Today is Valentine's Day and I'm Single. Again.

Today was the 22nd year that I've celebrated Valentine's Day while being single. Yes, I am 22. Believe it or not I've managed to keep a few guys from coming back to me on a second date, but that's probably because they hadn't seen how much I drink yet. I'm not going to sit her and complain about how I hate being single because I don't. I'm also not going to sit here and tell you how I hold my head up high and celebrate National Single's Awareness Day because I also don't. Nothing is more sad than lying to yourself that your happy with being single. So instead of both of these two holidays that I never understood (probably because I have no friends or lovers) I celebrate National Slut Day. Where instead of embracing love and friendship, I embrace lust and friends with benefits. Instead of eating chocolates or getting flowers, I ride chocolate men and watch them deflower me. I'm not here to put down a lifestyle of love and friendship, but to help others recognize a lifestyle that they can better understand. I'm not going to lie. There are times when I wish I had a boyfriend to wake up to because I, too, suffer from morning wood on a daily basis. However, you will never hear me complaining how I wish I had someone to hold or how I feel so lonely. Some think I live a sad life, but there's nothing sad about it. It's called happy hour, dumb ass.

Photo: Babble

Bunny Brawl: Hugh Hefner's Son Beats 2011 Playmate of the Year

TMZ has reported that 2011's Playboy Playmate of the Year, Claire Sinclaire, has filed a restraining order against Hugh Hefner's son, Marston, after beating her up following an argument. I don't know why Marston would beat up Sinclaire. He should really be beating up his father for giving him such a silly name. She told TMZ through a video interview that the restraining order last 5 days, but police officers told TMZ the restraining order lasts for 3. I'm going to take the police's word for this one since most bunnies can only count to however many Viagra pills Hugh needs to take to become erect. Police found several injuries on Sinclaire's body and apparently she's more than okay since she took to Twitter to say, "There’s two types of pain in the world – pain that hurts you, and pain that makes you stronger. All of your positivity is giving me strength." I'm actually surprised she didn't include three types of pain and talk about the one that's part of a window. 

Source: Gossip Cop & TMZ

Photo: Today Entertainment MSNBC

Life Savers: Woman's Record-Setting Boobs Saved Her LIfe

A woman is alive after she experienced a car crash, wrapping her vehicle around a tree, but escaped any serious injury thanks to her size 38KKK breasts. Sheyla Hershey says the airbags to her Ford Mustang didn't go off, but who need 'em when you got a pair inside your blouse? She was on her way to pick up her husband from a Super Bowl party in her hometown of Houston, Texas. Apparently, everything is bigger in Texas. Hershey says, "My implants saved my life, my breasts are very sore and I have some scratches on them but I know I would have been badly hurt without them because they are very close to the steering wheel." Hershey claims that she lost control of her car so I'm guessing her boobs were also close to eyes, as well. She also told Radar Online that she was taking drugs for depression and a bipolar disorder, which confuses me because I thought women get implants be happy. She was also taking vicodin and painkillers for the back pain that her breasts have been causing her. I'm not Asian, but I can definitely do the math here and conclude that those breasts are probably bringing more pain than pleasure. I love boobies just as much as the next guy, but I don't need them to be the size of medicine balls to enjoy them. 

Source: NY Daily News

Photo: NY Daily News

Tea'd Off: Lady Arrested For Pouring Ice Tea On Father In "Self-Defense"

Just when you thought Florida was starting to act like Paris Hilton and finally keep her big feet out of the news, she has to go ahead and let her cracked-out self into the streets again. In a little town called Port St. Lucie, Jacqueline Collins was making some iced tea while her father was watching the Super Bowl. Apparently, they got into an argument over what Collins' son had for lunch. Collins' father gave her son a meal that she didn't agree with and her father snapped back and told her not to order him around. One pitcher and seventeen ice cubes later, Collins poured ice tea all over her father and he called the police. Collins claims she poured the ice tea in self-defense, but she was still arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge. This lady is stupid. Her father is 79 years old. If she has to defend herself from a 79-year-old man, then I recommend she keep her ice tea in the pitcher where it belongs. I can sort of understand where this woman is coming from. There have been lots of times where I've wanted to pour ice tea all over my father. He never drank ice tea much so it probably would've been substituted with Budweiser or my stepmom's tears. But obviously I would never do that because he always has to ask me something annoying while he whips me with a belt, like, "Why you do that?" or "You think it's funny?" Yes, dad. I think pulling down my classmate's pants in the lunch line is hilarious.

Source: TC Palm
Photo: Shutter Stock

Red Neck Alert: Miranda Lambert Lashes Out On Chris Brown Over Twitter

For those of you who don't know, the Grammy's aired not too long ago and apparently Chris Brown was given two performance spots on the whole production. Miranda Lambert was one of the people who wasn't too happy seeing Brown performing at Sunday's event. She took to Twitter to tell her fans, "“Chris Brown twice? I don’t get it. He beat on a girl…” She needs to calm down. I wasn't there when Brown beat Rihanna for whatever reason, but Rihanna does where a necklace with the C word on it, which I both love her more for that and have to question if she had it coming. Either way, Rihanna is over it and even praises him on some of his success on her Twitter page. If Rihanna's over it, I don't understand why Miranda Lambert has to step Chris Brown's twinkle toes with her little Texas cowboy boots. For the record, I'm team Chris Brown on this one. Not because I rarely like blondes and have a history of seducing black men. And no, not because it's a lot more fun to dance to hip hop than to country while under the influence of narcotics. But because I like Chris Brown's style. When I tell my man to beat it up, I mean beat it up.

Source: Gossip Cop

Photo: En Terra

I Have Nothing: Whitney Houston Found Dead In Hotel Room.

According to multiple TMZ articles, Whitney Houston was found dead in room 434 at the Beverly Hills Hilton while bathing before a party on Saturday evening. Her aunt, Mary Jones, was the one who found Whitney's body submerged in the bath tub. She immediately called 911 and tried to give her CPR. However, the paramedics came and their efforts were also unsuccessful. They pronounced her dead at 3:55pm and according to the autopsy, the cause of death may have been from Houston mixing alcohol with prescription drugs. Among the prescription drugs was Xanax, which is used to treat depression and anxiety. Xanax mixed with alcohol can cause a severe sedation and could be why Houston was found asleep in the bath tub. I'm not going to make any of the obvious jokes her because that wouldn't be fair for Ms. Crack Is Whack. All I can say is... I've officially checked into the heartbreak hotel. I wanna dance with somebody, but I have nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It's not right, but it's okay. Because my love is your love. And he makes me feel like a million dollar bill. I will take things step by step because I am every woman. I learned from the best, Whitney. I will always love you.

Source: TMZ
Photo: EurWeb

Dry Humping, Zipper Bumping: Daniel Radcliffe Confesses About Hooking Up With Fans

We've all seen him wave around that stupid little branch that magically emits fire and harnesses electricity. Now we get to see him as a mature young adult outside of Harry Potter movies and inside a new thriller called Woman In Black. Yes, boys and girls, I'm talking about Daniel Radcliffe. According to the Daily Mirror, Radcliffe confesses to having one-night stands with Harry Potter groupies. He says, "I was always very nervous about the groupie thing. I like to like somebody before I sleep with them. You know, you’re going to have to talk to them afterwards, even if it is a one-night stand." That's stupid. I've had my fair share of one-night stands and I've never had to talk to some of them if I didn't want to, but that's probably because my hands can't talk. Radcliffe continues to talk about how he always knew the person he would hook up with outside from having a few drinks. This is usually the part where I commend my subject for drinking, but unfortunately Radcliffe no longer suffers from alcoholism like I do. And because of this, I cannot be friends with him or his uncircumcised penis. 

Source: OK Magazine

Photo: Planet Radio City

Going Both Ways: Snooki Considers Herself Bisexual

In an interview with the Huffington Post, Snooki admitted that she considers herself to be a bisexual. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but more power to ya, girl. Although she's been intimate with a girl before, she would never settle down with one. She says, “I would never be with a girl because I like… penis." She sounds like me when I'm drunk. I love penis just as much as the next gay, but when my blood alcohol content is past the legal limit, there's a good chance I'm going to tongue rape a girl. That doesn't make me bisexual. That makes me desperate. I don't think Snooki is bisexual. I believe people who are bisexual are attracted, have sex, and are willing to settle down with someone of both sexes. Kinda like Oprah. 

Source: Gossip Cop

Photo: Sunne

Time-Out: Parents Get Criminal Charges For Bringing Kids Late To School

Parents in Loudoun County, Virginia are receiving criminal charges for constantly bringing their children tardy to class. The county's public schools claim they are looking out for the children arguing that late arrivals disrupt other children who are ready to learn. I don't know what's more stupid: The fact that someone can be a criminal for making their kid late to class every day or that kids are ready to learn. Kids are never ready to learn. The only thing students look forward to in school is lunch and recess. One parent said if they criminalized every parent who brought their child late to school, the court houses would be full. Mark Denicore, a parent who was summoned by a Virginia court after repeatedly bringing their child late to school, says, "We are the first to admit we are not perfect and our kids are not perfect, but we are doing our very best and don't think in this case it should be criminal charges.” Aww... Mr. Denicore must live very far if he's late all the time, right? "We definitely don't have the traffic excuse that some people have,” says Denicore. He actually lives about a two-minute drive away. But they obviously must be doing something important in the morning, right? Denicore says there are more important things to teach children besides being on time, such as eating a healthy breakfast or tying their own shoes. I guess those are good things to teach your children but how about we save that for after school? If I was teaching my child anything before 11 in the morning it would be how to use the snooze button.

Source: MSNBC

Photo: Vals Teacher

Turning You Over: Court Rules Prop 8 To Be Unconstitutional

A court has overturned the ban on gay marriage in California. Again. This can't really be all good news since I now have no more excuses not to get married in my favorite state in America. I shouldn't have a problem, however, if I decide to keep my mouth open. The court says Prop 8 is unconstitutional, ruling, "Proposition 8 served no purpose, and had no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California." Well, what the hell did they think was it's purpose before? Have you ever seen a lesbian go on a second date? That's when they move in together! Men are different. I'm not saying none of them want to get married, but I'm sure some of them were voting yes so they don't have to get tied down to their boyfriends and retire in Palm Springs.

Source: Hollywood Reporter

Photo: Hunk Du Jour

What A Waist: Romanian Model Has A 20-inch Waist

Thanks to the DListed.com, I have now seen a woman with a 20-inch waist. Her name is Ioana Spangenberg and she's a Romanian model living in Germany. She says at age 13 her waist was 15 inches and some people were able to put their hands around her waist and still have room. For those of you who don't know, having a 15 inch waist is like the size of Oprah's ankles. She also says being bigger meant you came from a wealthy family causing no one to be interested in dating her. I think I speak for everyone who isn't interested in dating her when I say, it's not the money the guys were worried about. I'm sure they just didn't want to have sex with something shaped like a Chinese yo-yo. However, she says it wasn't until her husband Jan posted pictures of her on the internet and received positive feedback that Spangenberg felt beautiful. She still wants to gain weight but all of the frankfurters in Germany aren't helping. If she really needs some tips on how to gain weight, I can help her out since I do it all the time. It's called blacking out.

Source: D Listed
Photo: Pop on the Pop