I'm starting a new segment on my news section where I give a few random, smaller stories. Stories that are all over my Twitter news feed, but actually make very little impact on my life or yours, as do most of my stories. Anywho, so apparently Shakira was attacked by a Sea Lion while vacationing in South Africa. She says the sea lion might have confused her shiny blackberry for a fish. The sea mammal growled at her and tried to attack her but luckily her brother, Super Tony, came to the rescue. She later took some pictures with some penguins who she found to be a lot friendlier. I'm guessing she also found out that rocks are hard.... I don't know whether to smile at her or roll my eyes. Let's just hope sea lions aren't higher on the food chain than She-Wolves.
Also a story I hardly care about is how horny Adele is. In an interview, she talked about the pros and cons about being her boyfriend. Some of the cons are that she loves drama and she can change moods in seconds. Some of the pros are that she's funny, a good cook, and always down for sex. That's what I'm talkin' about. I guess if I was funny and a good cook I'd be a good girlfriend, too, instead of a good slut. She also confessed that her celebrity crush is Alec Baldwin. Not that he's ugly, but I was expecting someone else, like Nicole Kidman. I don't consider her particularly beautiful, but I just figured Adele would like her since she smokes so much and Kidman is pale and shaped like a true Virginia Slim.
Tareq Salahi is suing Neal Schon for ruining his marriage with his estranged wife, Michaele Salahi, the house wife of D.C. that crashed the white house. Salahi is suing Schon for $50 million saying, "his penis ruined my marriage." I think Salahi is being dumb. Schon was doing Michaele a favor by throwing her a boner. It sounds like Tareq's penis is the problem because if it was any good, Michaele would have never left.
Also a story I hardly care about is how horny Adele is. In an interview, she talked about the pros and cons about being her boyfriend. Some of the cons are that she loves drama and she can change moods in seconds. Some of the pros are that she's funny, a good cook, and always down for sex. That's what I'm talkin' about. I guess if I was funny and a good cook I'd be a good girlfriend, too, instead of a good slut. She also confessed that her celebrity crush is Alec Baldwin. Not that he's ugly, but I was expecting someone else, like Nicole Kidman. I don't consider her particularly beautiful, but I just figured Adele would like her since she smokes so much and Kidman is pale and shaped like a true Virginia Slim.
Tareq Salahi is suing Neal Schon for ruining his marriage with his estranged wife, Michaele Salahi, the house wife of D.C. that crashed the white house. Salahi is suing Schon for $50 million saying, "his penis ruined my marriage." I think Salahi is being dumb. Schon was doing Michaele a favor by throwing her a boner. It sounds like Tareq's penis is the problem because if it was any good, Michaele would have never left.
No comments:
Post a Comment