Dirty Talk: Capri Anderson Speaks About Her Night With Sheen.... Finally...

About 9238429 days after her little date night with Charlie Sheen, Capri Anderson finally tells everybody what exactly happened that night to Us Weekly. Obviously, if Us Weekly is the first one to get this interview there's a pretty good chance that not too many people care. But I digress... Anderson says that at the beginning of the night Sheen wasn't shy about blurting out expletives and racial slurs, which means Charlie has the Mel Gibson syndrome when he drinks. Anderson adds that she realized she was in a bad situation when Sheen began to put his hands around her throat. Well, I'm glad she was smart enough to figure it out. The worst part is that she's a porn star. She acts like she's never had a couple hands and black ding-a-lings around her throat before. She also says, "It's not right to hurt people. It's not right to scare people. It's not right to carry on with such disregard for the people around you." Well, that's what you get for going out with Charlie Sheen.

Photo: NY Daily News

Congratulations, It's A Soulja Boy!: Soulja Boy Denies Impregnating Girl

My source for this blog is BET entertainment blog, which for the record needs to post more blogs because black drama is my favorite. If they could post as many stories as TMZ or as many stupid things to talk about as OK! magazine, it would make my job a lot easier. My blog could use the help. Anywho, I read an article about Soulja Boy and how he's having drama with some girl named Kat Stacks, which by the way is the same name as my friend from LA. My friend from LA is also a hooker. Earlier this year, Ms. Stacks posted a video of Soulja Boy allegedly snorting cocaine and now she's spreading rumors saying she's carrying Soulja Boy's baby. Of course, Soulja Boy is denying that he impregnated Stacks, which isn't surprising because no rapper would admit to impregnating a woman. In an interview with DJ Drama, Soulja Boy mentions how the allegations have given him 4 times the ass he was getting beforehand. Looks like he's going to start doing 4 times the denying.

Photo: DJ Lights Out

Tiki Gets Torched: Tiki Barber Makes Too Many Bad Decisions

Tiki Barber is a former NFL football player and current sexy black man. I was a little turned off to find out that he has a wife who is pregnant with his child. However, I kept my chin up not because I wanted to see the positive but I literally had to keep my chin up so I can keep reading his story. I later found out that he left his knocked-up wife for a lady in her early twenties who was an intern at his job. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Not only did he lose his wife, he also lost his job. He keeps getting hotter and hotter. More recently, he was seen at a charity for kids that hosted a carnival where he would have had the opportunity to bring his kids along. Instead, he chose to bring the intern mistress. I'm not big on romance but I think I just found my soul mate. I love a man who makes mistakes because it's gonna take a real man to make the mistake of getting involved with me.

Photo: Angry Black Lady

Doing Lines: The Jackson 5 To Do A Clothing Line

 The 5 mentally-ill Jackson brothers are planning to launch a line to pay tribute to Michael Jackson's fashion sense and to remember their lives as the Jackson 5. If they're going to make clothes to remember the times when they were the Jackson 5, I'm assuming the t-shirts will be decorated with whip lashes on the back. The name of the clothing line is going to be J5 so obviously these brothers really know how to get creative. I would've liked it to be called "Jesus Juice" and show tiny alcohol stains near the t-shirt collars or "Beat it" and have hand prints on the crotch part of the pants. The T-shirts prices range from $22-$58 and the designs will change every three-and-a-half months, which happens to fall on the same day that Joe Jackson attempts to sue a doctor for money. Either way it's a shame that Michael couldn't have been a part of this clothing line. I'm sure he would have been responsible for making the youth sizes. I'm sure he has a couple samples left in his closet. Uh-oh...

Photo: Baller Wives

Don't Take A Picture, You'll Last Longer: Staring Makes Men Live Longer

According to OMG Facts!, if men stare at a woman's breast long enough, he will live longer. There was a study in Germany where 500 men volunteered to see the effects of men staring at a woman's assets. They asked one half of the men to stare at breasts and the other half not to. "The researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure

, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease." The researchers also concluded that a man staring at a woman's breast for 10 minutes brings the same outcome of 30 minutes of aerobic exercise. Now, it's no big secret that Caesar Teaser is a twinkle-toed-flaming homosexual, but this idea works exactly the same for gay men, as well. It turns out that any sexual excitement results in health benefits overall. According to the researchers, staring for 3 min a day will decrease the likelihood of having a stroke by half and can lengthen an average man's life span up to 4 to 5 years. Also, the researchers recommend staring for 10 min a day to get that half-hour of exercise. No wonder I'm such a lazy bitch. Now while you excuse me, I'm going to go to Google images and search 'LL Cool J.'

Photo: Top Fat Loss Trainer

Stalker Vol. 2: Uma Thurman Gets More Calls From Her Stalker

There's a man named Jack Jordan who apparently has an obsession with Uma Thurman. Kill Bill is definitely one of my favorite movies, but let's not get carried away here. Jordan called twice last week asking where Thurman was and demanded to have a chat with her. I suppose it's worth a try... However, this isn't the first time he's done this. In fact, he's violating his probation of refraining from contacting Thurman until 2012. The first time he was arrested was back in 2007 and at that point he had been stalking her for 2 years. He was arrested right outside of her Greenwich Village apartment, which is also in the same area where Richard Gere's stalker was arrested. Apparently, Greenwich Village attracts them the best and that's why every celebrity needs to be like everyone else in Hollywood and live in L.A.

Photo: Top 39

Demi Lo-Vanish: Lovato Leaves Tour To Seek Medical Treatment

I was on Twitter looking up all of my gossip sites and a bunch of them were on my feed saying something along the lines of "Demi Lovato Quits Tour, Enters Treatment." Of course I was disappointed to find out she wasn't doing drugs. I wouldn't hate her for doing drugs. In fact, I'd understand. If I was surrounded by 3 boys who said they didn't want to have sex with me, I'd be texting George Michael for some ecstasy. It turns out the girl withdrew from her tour to seek medical attention for other problems while she was in Peru, which obviously means she didn't get a chance to try the grilled chicken they have there. Her rep says "Demi has decided to take personal responsibility for her actions and seek help. She is doing just that. She regrets not being able to finish her tour, but is looking forward to getting back to work in the near future." In 'Demi Lovato' I think that means, "I'm a horny bitch with needs and don't want to resort to all of the uncircumcized Peruvians here." Her rep continues to say the reason Lovato sought treatment in the first place was because of "emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time." Again, I don't speak 'Demi' but I'm guessing the "emotional" issues involve breaking up with the Jonas queer she dated and the "physical issues" are the lack of intercourse. However, a 'close source' told People  "She was bullied in school. She fought through eating disorders and has struggled with cutting. …" which sounds like every girl in high school. We all get made fun of from time to time, we all enjoy McDonald's more than we should, and who the hell doesn't cut in high school? I know I never wanted to wait in those long ass lunch lines. 

Photo: The Daily Fill