Miss DUI: 2010s Miss USA Arrested For Drunk Driving

Michigan Police have arrested Rima Fakih, Miss USA 2010, for driving drunk Saturday morning. Cops first found her speeding and swerving through Detroit traffic and decided to pull her over. According to the police report, Fakih introduced herself as Miss USA. I wonder if she used that high-pitched voice that they all use saying, "Rima Fakih. Detroit, Michigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" When cops asked her to blow through the breathalyzer, her blood-alcohol content was 0.2 which is two-and-a-half times the legal limit. Cops also found a half-empty bottle of wine behind the driver's seat so obviously this girl is a classy ass bitch. She sounds like two tons of fun if you ask me. However, I don't condone drinking and driving. People need to be as responsible as I am and have a slice or two at the pizza place that's open after the bars close. And then fall asleep in the restroom until the janitor find you at 6am.

Photo: Damn Cool Pictures

How-Weird: Terrence Howard Says Wife Lies About Him Threatening Her

Terrence Howard's wife, Michelle Howard, has filed a restraining order on him after claiming that Terrence threatened to kill her. Allegedly, the spouse abuse started seven days after they got married. I think what Ms. Howard needs to ask herself is, "Could I be annoying the shit out of him?" Just recently, Ms. Howard says Mr. Howard, "slugged me across my face and neck" and threatened to throw her off a balcony. I don't know what would motivate someone to do that, but I'm surprised thoughts like these haven't been running through Kris Humphries head. Ms. Howard also alleges that throughout her marriage with Mr. Howard that he: smacked her in the face, chipped her tooth with his wedding ring, throwing her down to the ground in a parking lot, telling her, "I'll hit a woman quicker than I'd hit a man," saying, "If you tell anyone about my personal business, I will kill you and no one will ever know, and screaming, "Bitch, walk home. That's my car, I pay for it." These are some alarming quotes, but I must say, if Terrence Howard does pay for that car, then he's right. That is his car.

Mr. Howard has responded with more legal files saying that all the allegations are false and that the only reason she's fabricating these lies is because she is threatening to release exploitative material. Such material includes Mr. Howard singing in the shower naked. In all seriousness, she'd make a hell of a lot of money off me from that video alone. Lucky for Mr. Howard, I'm only a student with an alcohol addiction and fetish for spaghetti. 

Photo: Black Web Portal

Trans-Fixed: Transgender Woman Sues Khloe Kardashian For Assaulting Her

A transgender woman is filing a lawsuit against Khloe Kardashian for an altercation they shared back in 2009. It's now the end of 2011 so I'm guessing Khloe beat the memory out this tranny. The victim goes by the name Chantal Spears, but is also known as Ronald S. Spears. The article doesn't say whether she dresses up in man form as Ronald McDonald, but that would be an interesting twist. Either way, in Khloe's defense, I'm sure her mother taught him not to hit a woman, but I'd be confused, too. However, the court documents claim that Spears was attacked by ten other people along with Kardashian amazon according to TheWrap. I'm sure Khloe counts as five people. The whole altercation allegedly started in front of nightclub called Playhouse in Hollywood after Spears told Kardashian's husband, Lamar Odom, that he's too young to be married. Whether that's true or not, he certainly isn't to black to be married to Khloe.

Photo: Daily Mail

Bald-Lose: Alec Baldwin Kicked Off American Airlines Flight

Alec Baldwin has made the news again and this time it's about him getting kicked off of an American Airlines flight. The "30 Rock" star took to Twitter to inform his followers that, ""Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving." I wonder if he called the flight attendant's manager and left a nasty voicemail. The flight was delayed an hour, which would have made me mad if alcohol wasn't being served. According to Twitter's trending topics, only two people reported seeing Baldwin get kicked off so obviously it sounds like it wasn't worth the wait. I honestly don't see what the problem is. If a flight attendant asked me to put my phone away, I'd comply. And like every other smart person I'd take it back out when no one was looking. Apparently, Baldwin isn't the quickest cheetah in the jungle.

Photo: Crispy Hundos

Alley Cat: Rescuers Spend 12 hours To Save A Toy

There was a missing pregnant cat in the UK that villagers thought was trapped inside of a bin. The cat was first caught missing when it ran away after it was going to be adopted into a new home. About three days passed and villagers heard meowing from a clothes bin. However, they could not look into the bin because it was locked shut. They called the fire department and the RSPCA to open the bin, but both of them failed. Is this a clothes bin or a god damn vault? Finally, they decided to drive the bin to a specialist engineering firm where they were able to open it with saws. The villagers dug through the items to retrieve the cat only to find out that it was a squeaky toy. Moral of the story: cats are not worth rescuing.

Photo: Hawaii Life

Pot Suit: Bob Marley's Family Sues His Half Brother

Bob Marley's widow is suing Marley's half-brother for using the family name on various products. According to TMZ, she filed the lawsuit along with her nine kids, which seems pretty ridiculous. They might end up on Judge Judy, but it sounds like they're aiming for Family Feud. According to the lawsuit, the half-brother, Richard Booker, used the family name to sell fish products, such as fish, fish and chips, and fish mousse. First off, what the hell is fish mousse? That sounds worse than Belvedere's salmon-flavored vodka. Second off, this Booker character isn't very creative because if I was selling fish products and trying to pimp out Bob Marley's name with them, my trademark name would be Fish-K-Bob. Tell me that doesn't have a ring to it, though.

Photo: Flickr