Bringing Down The House: Amy Winehouse Boo'd Off Stage

Amy Winehouse performed in Serbia last night where she was too drunk to deliver a great performance. I don't know why everyone was so mad, I saw one of the videos and could not stop laughing. Winehouse was stumbling around her microphone and slurring the lyrics to her songs until one of her backup singers had to sing for her. The crowd became irritated with her performance and began booing ruthlessly. Well, that's what you get for buying tickets to an Amy Winehouse concert. I don't know what the audience was expecting. This is just one of those things you're supposed to be prepared for, like finding out your daughter is a slut if you enroll her to catholic school. As a result, Winehouse cancelled the next two tour dates and management is in discussion of canceling the remainder of the tour altogether. According to The Hollywood Reporter, this tour was supposed to be a comeback tour for her, but in order for it to be a comeback tour, she has to actually come back.

Photo: Tattooku

Wine Not?: Bristol Lost Her Virginity In A Tent While Drunk On Wine Coolers

Bristol Palin is about to release her new book titled Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, where she talks about her annoying life. In it, she mentions her relationship with Levi Johnston and the time she lost her virginity. Apparently, Palin had one too many wine coolers, blacked out, and lost her virginity to Levi in a tent during a camping trip. In the book, Palin writes, "Instead of waking up in his arms, I awakened in a cold tent alone." Talk about drama queen. That was just as bad as hearing spoken word on open mic night. Rule #1: never expect anything, especially if it's from a man. She continues that her and Johnston continued to have sober, deliberate sex and she wanted to get pregnant. I'm not an eskimo, but I'm guessing that means she doesn't want everyone to know that her son, Tripp, wasn't an accident. She also mentions how Levi would come home drunk with hickies on his neck. The breaking point for her was when she found out Johnston impregnated another woman. At this point, I can go on and on about how stupid Bristol is, but I've never had to share a child with someone. In fact, I've gone through almost the same thing she has. I, too, lost my virginity when I was drunk and have hardly any recollection of it at all. The man I lost it to was Black so there's a slight chance he might have been sleeping around even though he wasn't a rapper. I'd like to say that he didn't try to impregnate anyone else, but after hearing about that pregnant man, I don't know what to think anymore.

Photo: Hyper Vocal

Private Property: Anthony Weiner Posts Racy Photos

There's been a lot of buzz about a congressman named Anthony Weiner taking pictures of himself, some nude, and sending it to women. What really surprised me was the fact that Weiner isn't a republican. I don't know what it is about republicans being more likely to get caught touching minors or renting male prostitutes, but it sure makes me feel like I'm swaying on the wrong side of the political spectrum. Weiner has admitted himself and his A.D.D. weiner into a sex addiction rehab in hopes to amend his behavior and fix his mistakes. First of all, I don't believe in sex addiction. I believe in boring marriages. This guy is obviously bored with all of the non-sex he's having with his wife that he's going to look for it somewhere else. I'm not saying it's not his fault. I'm saying people shouldn't be married if they can't keep their pants on. People are always asking me when I'm going to get a boyfriend and I tell them, "I've had a million boyfriends. They just weren't my boyfriends." To make the situation even more ridiculous, Weiner was criticized by plenty of other politicians, one of them being Republican John Boehner.

Photo: Capital Bay

Clean Up On Aisle 9: Two Moms Fight Over Frozen Food

There were two mothers, Marcella Caprario and Cathleen London, who were shopping at their local Trader Joe's in New York and had a little skirmish in the frozen food section. Caprario was with her husband walking down the frozen food aisle where he attempted to grab Trader Joe's brand Frozen Vegan Pad Thai With Tofu. London was also in the same section while her son ran in front of Caprario's husband and blocked him from grabbing the product. When the kid left, Caprario's husband said, "They don't even say 'excuse me.'" loud enough for the kid to hear. Well, London didn't take it very lightly and argued, "He's just a child!" and allegedly charged towards Caprario and her husband. One thing led to another and Caprario slapped London and now they've got themselves a legal issue to resolve. First of all, everyone knows the only thing worth fighting for in the frozen food section are Hot Pockets. Second, one of the moms is an opera singer and the other is a doctor, so I can totally see them saying stupid things in their argument, like "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings!" or "You might feel a slight discomfort!" However, to a certain extent I can completely understand where each party is coming from. I once fought a seagull over fish n chips. I think it was dead already because all I did was stab it with a spork.

Photo: Wednesday Martin