No Thank Jew: People Say No To Mel Gibson Making Maccabee Movie

Mel Gibson is getting a lot of negative opinions about him making a movie about Judah Maccabee, a prominent Jewish icon in history. Rabbi Marvin Hier is offended that someone who is notorious for accused anti-semitism is making a film about Maccabee and says, "Mel Gibson is no Maccabee." Thank you, Captian Obvious. Also, the Anti-Defamation League is asking Warner Bros to take Gibson out of the project and believe, "As a hero of the Jewish people and a universal hero in the struggle for religious liberty, Judah Maccabee deserves better.” Before I go on, I don't know who the Anti-Defamation League is, but they sound like a pile of buzzkills. Just because you put 'league' at the end of your name, doesn't make it cool. It's for athletes and superheroes like Superman. In spite of the quote from a nerdy bunch, I have to agree with them and the rabbi. I think it's very oxymoronic that Mel Gibson is making a movie about Jews. That's like Amy Winehouse writing a song about rehab. Uh oh...

Photo: Sofa King Drunk

Drags, Not Drugs; Amy Winehouse Didn't Die From Narcotics

Amy Winehouse's toxicology report shows that she did not have any illegal drugs in her system at the time of death. However, she did have alcohol in her system, which is no surprise since we all saw her performances in Sudan and Dubai. I love Amy Winehouse's album and I could listen to it all day. The only thing better than listening to Amy Winehouse's music on iTunes is listening to it live while she's blacked out, but I digress. Those doing the report have not determined whether alcohol caused Winehouse's death, but some are theorizing that she died from quitting alcohol cold turkey. I may not be smarter than a 5th grader, but if she quit cold turkey, then why the fuck did she have alcohol in her system. I'm not going to lie. I assumed, like the majority of everyone else who heard the news, that Winehouse died from a drug overdose. Now that I've been proven wrong, I think we should all agree that she died from smoking a carton of Camels each day. I'll be damned if that didn't play a role in her death. Can you imagine she died of something that no one would ever expect, like overeating or being sober? That would make my day.

Photo: Smoking Sides

Bringing Down The House: Amy Winehouse Boo'd Off Stage

Amy Winehouse performed in Serbia last night where she was too drunk to deliver a great performance. I don't know why everyone was so mad, I saw one of the videos and could not stop laughing. Winehouse was stumbling around her microphone and slurring the lyrics to her songs until one of her backup singers had to sing for her. The crowd became irritated with her performance and began booing ruthlessly. Well, that's what you get for buying tickets to an Amy Winehouse concert. I don't know what the audience was expecting. This is just one of those things you're supposed to be prepared for, like finding out your daughter is a slut if you enroll her to catholic school. As a result, Winehouse cancelled the next two tour dates and management is in discussion of canceling the remainder of the tour altogether. According to The Hollywood Reporter, this tour was supposed to be a comeback tour for her, but in order for it to be a comeback tour, she has to actually come back.

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Too Hot For Pot: Mark Whalberg Says He's Done With Weed

Mark Wahlberg was at some film festival that I never heard of accepting an award and while giving his speech he mentioned that the award piece looks like a bong. Talk about having withdrawals... After mentioning that he said, "But I don't use those anymore." Of course he doesn't. Who the hell would admit that they smoke weed unless your Snoop Dogg? In an interview with Us Weekly, Wahlberg says he quit smoking because of his kids. He says, "One day, we were driving and you could smell it from somewhere. My daughter asked what the smell was so I told her it was a skunk. Then she said, 'Sometimes Daddy smells like that!' to me and my wife. So I knew I had to quit." That's understandable. I don't think any parent should be letting their kid know that they have someone just as great as Amy Winehouse for a parent. The part I don't understand is that Wahlberg also replaced partygoing on the weekends with churchgoing. I don't know why anyone would do this unless they were married to Angelina Jolie. I want to say that it's okay to have a little party every now and then if you have kids, but I'm not a parent and quite frankly I don't plan on changing that for the next 80 years. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I have like 15 nephews and 27 second cousins, but I also have the luxury of saying, "go back to your mother." Either way, I remember my dad taking me out to his social gatherings where he had a few too many Budweisers and look at me. Not one thing is wrong with me. Right?

Photo: Knocked Up Celebs